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A blog about my friends, family, and all the weird and annoying people I know. Feel free to comment. I'll delete it if I don't like it.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I'm Still Angry

I thought for a moment that I was becoming less angry. I'm not. I've had a good month or so where I've felt very calm about things. I'm taking life in stride. I'm chilling out. I thought maybe my maturity level had finally caught up to me and I could approach issues that irritated me with grace and dignity.

Well,  I can't.

I still see bullshit all around me and it makes me angry. Then I spew out all my unwanted opinions about it to everyone in close enough range to hear and then I feel better.

Luckily for me, I'm angry and smart, so I can have intelligent arguments ready to go if someone should challenge me on my beliefs. I feel sorta bad for angry, stupid people. They probably have good reasons to be mad but don't have a large enough vocabulary or education to articulate their dilemma or offer up any valid or useful solutions.

Here are a few things that made me angry this week:

1.) Students who hate everyone and complain about shit all the time but don't want to educate themselves about the topics, vote, or be a part of the solution. They just want to bitch about everything being unfair, unjust and fucked up. Why don't you learn more about the world you live in, how problems and issues have developed over time, and then be a part of an organization or movement to create change in whatever part of the world or society you find a flaw. Sitting around with your hoodie on pouting about religion and government isn't going to make your life any better. If you don't like what you see, hear, or experience, change it. If you can't talk to me about perceived solutions, don't complain to me about the way the world is and how you hate everyone and everything. Keep your uneducated bullshit opinions to yourself.

Uh, Omg. The government is so corrupt and everyone is super stupid. Waaa. Where's my hoodie and  head phones?


2.) People who imply that a woman should cook Thanksgiving dinner and ask me everywhere I go if I'm cooking. I also don't like when people are surprised that my husband is going to cook.  I'm going to provide moral support in the form of loving his food and asking if I can help then hoping he says NO. It's 2012 and people still assume or expect women to cook the big dinner while the men watch football in the other room? This is the archaic model in the 70s and 80s or at least as far back as I can remember when the women cook and the men enjoy the couch. I remember my mother, aunts and grandmother would all gather in the kitchen talking about cooking and chatting about inane things like recipes and dish sizes. I don't want to talk about dish sizes or flour sifters or baking times. I don't like to cook and somehow I feel some sort of a twinge of guilt about that as if my XX chromosome is flawed or I'm flawed and I'm not as good as other women who like to cook. I hate cooking! And I'm angry that I perceive that people expect me to cook or that I should cook anyway because people cook on Thanksgiving. I don't want to cook. I don't want to stand around in a kitchen and mix stuff together and wait for it to bake. I'm not sorry. But I am kind of jealous of people who find it comforting to cook. Only kind of jealous though like the way I'm jealous of people of who like bananas. They look really good but I don't fuckin want one.

3.) Men who are rude to women. First of all. I'm not a big fan of men in general. I don't like their macho attitudes. I don't like their superior aura. I don't dislike all men, just men who think they are better than me or anyone else. I don't like men who are overly competitive or have something to continually prove to someone.There I said it. I once put up with a lot of bullshit from a few men in my life. Years of experience with dating, divorcing, and breaking up have taught me to notice red flags in men. So I'm angry when I hear stories of women who are treated poorly by a man in their lives. It really pisses me off and it's not even my relationship. Why do I even care? I develop a sense of rage when I hear that so and so's husband or boyfriend did this or that fucked up thing to her and on at least 2 occasions my response is this: " Why didn't you throw something at his head?" I find that throwing blunt objects at the heads of men who are intentionally being verbally abusive to you helps end the relationship and set the expectation for future arguments. If you ever call me a cunt and I'm close enough to a heavy object, you should run and then consider our relationship forever over. It infuriates more than I ever let on that men do this to women. I suppose women do it to men too and it goes both ways. I just have more sympathies for my own gender. I'm not sorry.

The Truth DOES piss me off. If you don't get pissed off, how do you know when you should fight and stand up for yourself or others? Do people who are mildly upset radically change the world? It is the anger that moves through people in the form passion, injustice, and indignation.  



4.) CYA bullshit at work. I hate when groups of people think of stupid shit for other groups of people to do just so it looks good on paper or in reports. This kind of bullshit comes in all forms and I'm right in the middle of my own bullshit fest at work. I'm going to do it. I'm going to pretend I like it. But it makes me angry and it might as well be called, "bullshit we made up so it looks like we are improving. Oh, and it cost a lot of money." If you want me to do MORE work and buy into your dumbness, you'll have to pay me more, lower my class size, and otherwise do something other than give me more work to do and expect better results. There are solutions in education that are overlooked because they cost money (more teachers salaries, physical classroom space, and resources) like lowering class size by 1/3, paying teachers to work an entire work day, like 7-2 teaching and 2-5 planning, grading and consulting, or requiring all parents to take an active role in the education of the child. Right now parental involvement is strongly encouraged. Blech.

That's about it for right now. I'm eating small candy bars and life is okay.



I can be angry if I want to be. Sometimes I like how it makes me think....





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"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could." Louise Erdrich, from "The Painted Drum